--- For days we hacked our way throught the jungle that ran alongside the arterial highway. --- "We fill pre-existing forms and when we fill them we change them and are changed." --- When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair. --- Admiral Hyman G. Rickover once said, "Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people." Now who do you suppose he was talking about? --- Nowadays most smileys are too kissable. :-X <-- DO NOT KISS MY SMILEY --- One day, I spent several hours walking around telling people that I was "a little tea-pot." Some people asked me if I was also short and stout, and I punched those people out, because that kind of disrespect is totally uncalled for. -- C.B. Droege --- It is a bit embarrassing to have been concerned with the human problem all one's life and find at the end that one has no more to offer by way of advice than "try to be a little kinder." -- Aldous Huxley --- After all, what is your hosts' purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi. -- P. J. O'Rourke --- If there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life. -- Albert Camus --- Never be haughty to the humble; never be humble to the haughty. -- Jefferson Davis, confederate president --- Resisting temptation is easier when you think you'll probably get another chance later on. --- "Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before," Bokonon tells us. "He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way." -- Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle" --- I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me. -- Hunter S. Thompson --- There's nothing wrong with letting the ladies know that you're money and you wanna party. -- Trent, "Swingers" --- The problem with pedophiles is that they are fucking immature assholes. --- We need to make it a criminal offense to change certain APIs. -- Michi Henning --- Not one word, not one gesture of yours shall I, could I, ever forget. -- Vronsky, in Tolstoy's `Anna Karenin' --- No two countries with McDonald's franchises have ever gone to war. -- `The Lexus and the Olive Tree,' Thomas Friedman --- The problem with new age music is that there is no *evil* in it. -- Brian Eno --- Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) --- "If we were the Monkees, we'd be ready by now." -- Frank Zappa, while band is tuning instruments --- He is a hard man who is only just, and a sad one who is only wise. --Voltaire --- "You desire to know the art of living, my friend? ... make use of suffering." -- Henri Amiel (1821-1881) --- Once a lecture is committed to PowerPoint, the presence of the content creator is no longer critical. - on EdwardTufte.com --- I categorize anything that makes absolutely no damn sense as being "zen." I think it makes me more spiritual. -- shoeboy via kuro5hin --- "Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." --- Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. -- Blaise Pascal --- When we see men of a contrary character, we should turn inwards and examine ourselves. -- Confucius --- "If you weren't a musician, what would you be?" "A member of Limp Bizkit." -- Jay Butler, Grand Theft Audio --- "It is the folly of too many to mistake the echo of a London coffeehouse for the voice of the kingdom." -- Jonathan Swift --- Men of genius are often dull and inert in society, as a blazing meteor when it descends to earth, is only a stone. -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow --- Until you've lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was or what freedom really is. -- Margaret Mitchell --- "Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wicker-work picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art." -- Tom Stoppard, "Artist Descending a Staircase" --- There is but one answer to the editor flamewar: ed If someone says, "vi", someone else will inevitably reply, "emacs". If someone says, "emacs", someone else will inevitably reply, "vi". If someone says, "ed", everyone else tends to get quiet and assume that the person is either a Unix guru, an escaped mental patient, or both. Either way, they realize that they probably shouldn't argue the point further. -- slashdot --- There is a reason that the Irish invented Irish Coffee; unless you ingest a large volume of artificial stimulants throughout the course of St. Patrick's Day, you are going to die. --- "My God, I haven't been fucked like that since grade-school!" - that chick in Fight Club --- If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility. -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow --- Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer. -- Charles Caleb Colton (1780-1832) --- Never look down on anybody unless you're helping him up. --- It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong. -- Voltaire --- It is criminal to steal a purse, daring to steal a fortune, a mark of greatness to steal a crown. The blame diminishes as the guilt increases. -- Johan von Schiller --- Honk if you've never seen an uzi fired from a car window. --- Your call is important to us, but not important enough for us to hire enough people to answer the phone. --- It is more shameful to distrust one's friends than to be deceived by them. -- De la Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) --- "I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours." -- Stephen Roberts --- "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." -- Anais Nin --- This is the way the world ends This is the way the world ends This is the way the world ends Not with a bang but a whimper. -- T. S. Eliot, "The Hollow Men" --- Man was born free, and everywhere he is in chains. -- Rousseau --- God is a comic playing to an audience that's afraid to laugh. -- Voltaire --- For sleep, riches and health to be truly enjoyed, they must be interrupted. --Jean Paul Richter --- Every time we have some lunatic run amok and shoot someone, when we have kids in schoolyards blowing each other's asses off, everybody says, "What was the reason? What was the motivation?" There is no fucking motivation! The world is turning into a cesspool of imbeciles! -- Harlan Ellison, 1999 --- "Wherever we are, what we hear is mostly noise. When we ignore it, it disturbs us. When we listen to it, we find it fascinating." -- John Cage --- "...we don't want to be known as the '303' group." "Well, how many do you have?" "Six." -- Hardfloor --- "another thing, if lelu was supposedly perfect, why did she have such bad teeth? damn, can't they just color her teeth by photoshop or something at least?" -- re: `The Fifth Element' --- If we encounter a man of rare intellect, we should ask him what books he reads. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson --- It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity. -- Dave Barry --- That life is worth living is the most necessary of assumptions, and were it not assumed, the most impossible of conclusions. -- George Santayana --- Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws. -- Plato --- What I do today is important because I am paying a day of my life for it. What I accomplish must be worthwhile because the price is so high. --- I tell you, we are here on earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you any different. -- Kurt Vonnegut, 11/95 --- The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. -- Bertrand Russell --- The best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity. -- William Butler Yeats --- "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them." -- Henry David Thoreau --- I think gods don't smite people anymore because people of many different religions now live in the same town. No god wants to accidentally smite the wrong person and get sued by another god. --David James --- Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons. -- Bertrand Russell --- We are at war, both institutionally and individually, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. If you don't think so, you're just too blind to realize it. Well, too blind or just fucking stupid. -- unknown --- "Americans at the end of the 20th centry live in the wealthiest society in the history of humanity, and yet our children seem to be the most damaged and disturbed generation the country has ever produced." -- Rolling Stone, 10/98 --- In my day, we didn't have no rocks. We had to go down to the creek and wash our clothes by beating them with our heads. --- "This is a cool holiday. It's the day we celebrate overthrowing the government." -- 4 July 98, Sameer Parekh, c2.net --- When you live in the shadow of insanity, the appearance of another mind that thinks and talks as yours does is something close to a blessed event. -- Robert Pirsig --- If it has more than three chords, it's jazz. -- Lou Reed --- The highest reward for a man's toil is not what he gets for it but what he becomes by it. --John Ruskin --- "Silly customer, you cannot hurt the twinkie." -- Apu, Simpsons Kwik-E-Mart Manager --- One thing about excellence, it's an exclusive club. And it's only for those who really want to pay dues to the shit. My daddy told me when I was a boy, "The only way you can be different from other people is to do some shit they don't want to do." - Wynton Marsalis --- Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us. -- Jerry Garcia --- The Dutch Federation for Military Personnel union (which 20 years ago won the right for soldiers to wear their hair long) announced in April 1997 it would back a female recruit's desire to wear a tongue ring. The code of conduct, the union said, bans jewelry "on the head," not "in the head." --- The top of the mountain........ its all different colors. -- dani, sleep-talking --- I wish no living thing to suffer pain. -- Shelley (1792-1822) --- "Of all my minions, you are my very favorite, Bill." -- Satan --- I think it's wrong that only one company makes Monopoly. --- When choosing between two evils, I always like to take the one I've never tried before. --Mae West --- As you grow older, you'll find the only things you regret are the things you didn't do. -Zachary Scott --- As someone once observed, Southerners will be polite until they are angry enough to kill you. -- John Shelton Reed --- What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common? Either way someone's going to lose a trailer. --- "It used to be that only parolees had to take pre-employment drug tests, and if Silicon Valley had testing in the early days, there wouldn't be a Silicon Valley. But now this privacy battle is over, and we fucking lost." -- Cliff Palefsky, SF lawyer --- "Once you've put a shitload of dope in a six-by-six-inch pan, what's to complain about?" -- SF Bay Guardian --- I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen. --- Every man and woman has the potential to be a star but very few realize it. Everyone wears a crown, but who will stand and be a king? --- I was just reading a book about chaos. In it, it mentions a mathematician who did ground breaking work in Chaos theory using his computer which did a blazing six floating point operations per second. My computer does 120 million. I haven't discovered shit. --- Hiroshima '45, Chernobyl '86, Windows '95 --- People are more violently opposed to fur than leather, because it's safer to pick on rich women than biker gangs. --- A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. --- Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot. --- My kid had sex with your honor student. --- Practice Acting Kind of Random. --- Give me ambiguity or give me something else. --- All I want for Christmas is Santa's list of naughty girls. --- A man who is 'of sound mind' is one who keeps the inner madman under lock and key. -- Paul Valery --- Paradise is exactly like where you are right now ... only much, much better. -- Laurie Anderson --- The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance. --- I'll bet you I can quit gambling... --- Most of us are just about as happy as we make up our minds to be. -- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) --- There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered. -- Nelson Mandela --- Don't mistake pleasure for happiness. They're a different breed of dog. -- Josh Billings --- When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty. -- George Bernard Shaw --- A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a joke or worried to death by a frown on the right person's brow. -- Charles Brower --- The slogan on New Hampshire license plates is "Live Free or Die." Those plates are manufactured by prisoners in the state prison in Concord. --- I'm too old to go whoring after twentysomethings. -- Michael Kinsley, commenting on the target audience of `Slate' --- "I'm so rad, I call my girlfriend 'dude'" -- apologies to D Frishberg (?) --- Louder Tunes == Better Code -- Todd Hodes --- Hit any user to continue. --- Only two industries commonly refer to customers as "users," and the other one's illegal. -- Network World 4/29/96 --- "Silicon Valley sophism": the assumption among the wired elite that a new technology will take off "because it would be cool if it did." -- Jean-Louis Gassee, ex-Apple research VP --- Another product of the Twentieth Century, that innovative century that brought you WW I, WW II, and... WWW. --- If you refuse to accept anything but the best you very often get it. --- "Beer! Now there's a temporary solution." -- Homer Simpson --- Boredom is a vital problem for the moralist, since at least half of the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it. -- Bertrand Russell --- I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves. -- Ludwig Wittgenstein, philosopher --- Imagine a school with children that can read or write, but with teachers who can not, and you have a metaphor of the Information Age in which we live. -- Peter Cochrane --- Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. Personally, I've never been able to make out the numbers. --- I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers -- ``A Bit of Fry and Laurie'' --- "If there was an Information Revolution, it's over: Information won." -- Diana Dougan --- Consistently separating words by spaces became a general custom about the tenth century A.D., and lasted until about 1957, when FORTRAN abandoned the practice. -- Sun FORTRAN Reference Manual --- "Today's ice: it's more than just frozen water." --- "Raleigh's is sorta like your parent's house. It's kind of a drag, but you always end up there." -- Ketan --- "[The Waco massacre] was a victory for mass propaganda. They murdered 96 people in front of our eyes on national TV, and the public bought it." -- Linda Thompson, American Justice Federation --- Whatever doesn't make you stronger, kills you. --- "People are like teabags; you never know how strong they'll be until they're in hot water." --- "More than half of modern culture depends on what one shouldn't read." -- Oscar Wilde --- "Human ingenuity cannot concoct a cipher which human ingenuity cannot resolve." -- Edgar Allan Poe --- "Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur." ("Anything in Latin sounds profound") --- The care of every man's soul belongs to himself.... Laws provide against injury from others; but not from ourselves. -- Thomas Jefferson --- "Withdrawing in disgust is not the same as apathy." -- Slacker --- "Visualize Armed Revolution" "Visualize Whirled Peas" --- "We have not succeeded in answering all your questions. The answers we have found only serve to raise a whole set of new questions. In some ways we feel we are as confused as ever, but we believe we are confused on a higher level and about more important things." -- Guido Van Rossum --- "The reasonable man tries to adapt himself to the world around, while the unreasonable man tries to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends upon the unreasonable man." --- "If I want to stop smoking, one method is to find a tall building and jump off. But that's kind of a high-cost solution." -- U.Va. CS prof --- To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness. -- Bertrand Russell --- "If I became a philosopher, if I have so keenly sought this fame for which I'm still waiting, it's all been to seduce women basically." -- Jean Paul Sartre (Harpers, Jan 95) --- "We all enter this world in the same way: naked; screaming; soaked in blood. But if you live your life right, that kind of thing doesn't have to stop there." -- Dana Gould --- The Principia Discordia is the One True Holy Book, except for all the other ones. --- What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull. --- Smash forehead on keyboard to continue... --- The beatings will continue until morale improves. --- The difference between e-mail and regular mail is that computers handle e-mail and computers never decide to come to work one day and shoot all the other computers. -- article in SF Examiner --- "The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense." -- Dijkstra --- "When I order coffee, I want it filled six times." -- Mr. Pink --- The cup is neither half empty nor half full; the cup I picked was the wrong damn size. --- "Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray" "So I've heard. I've also heard that kissing a person who's self-righteous and indignant is like licking a mongoose's ass." --- If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate. --- There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and BSD. --- Don't go surfing in South Dakota for a while. --- Who needs friends when you can sit alone in your room and drink? --- Don't drop acid, take it pass/fail --- The reason computer chips are so small is computers don't eat much. --- My mom and dad looted during the L.A. Riots and all I got was this crummy VCR. --- Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots --- Television is a medium... it is neither rare nor well done. --- The Macintosh multitasks like children share toys --- A day without sunshine is like night. --- God did not create the world in 7 days; he screwed around for 6 days and then pulled an all-nighter. --- 2 + 2 = 5 for sufficiently large values of 2. --- California, n.: From Latin "calor", meaning "heat" (as in English "calorie" or Spanish "caliente"); and "fornia'" for "sexual intercourse" or "fornication." Hence: Tierra de California, "the land of hot sex." --- The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up. --- "The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government." -- Thomas Jefferson --- "C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg" -- Bjarne Stroustrup --- >> NOTICE: American is capitalized, ALWAYS. No it isn't, look: american, american, american There. --- You can make it illegal, but you can't make it unpopular. --- You can tell how far we have to go when FORTRAN is the language of supercomputers. --- After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist said to me 'Maybe life isn't for everyone.' --- Life's too short to drink cheap beer. --- segmentation fault (california dumped) --- ... and they had that one weird bongo player who used to snort gasoline, until he saw little green men and everyone laughed at him until they finally locked him up, and NOW THAT WE ARE ALL SLAVES TO THOSE LITTLE GREEN MEN, PEOPLE AREN'T LAUGHING QUITE AS HARD, ARE THEY? -- Drs. 4 "Bob" --- People in the computer industry use the word "user" when they mean "idiot." -- Dave Barry --- Computer Virus (n): A deliberately destructive, irritaring, or otherwise unwanted program (eg. WordPerfect). --- "It's a crappie job, but somebody has to do it." -- Mother Teresa --- Why has our government kept the truth regarding Spam hidden from us all of these years? Because they have sold us out to the aliens in trade for some paultry beam weaponry and mind-control technology. --- "To make laws that man cannot, and will not, obey serves to bring all laws into contempt." -- Elizabeth Cady Stanton --- "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Ben Franklin --- "Governments create nothing and have nothing to give but what they have first taken away." --Winston Churchill --- So you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts. What's so amazing about really deep thoughts? -- Tori Amos --- "Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that it is the basic building block of the universe." -- Frank Zappa --- "Allow me to show you why you are an idiot." -- anonymous --- There once was a woman from Thrace Whose limericks never did rhyme Except for the time They rhymed in the wrong place But by then, the meter was hopelessly screwed up. --- "A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention in human history, with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila." -- D. W. McArthur --- "A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into thereoms." -- Erdos --- Heisenburg may have been here. --- /* don't try and compile this or I'll have to hurt you. */ --- If the government wants us to respect the law, it should set a better example. --- "Prohibition goes beyond the bounds of reason in that it attempts to control a man's appetite by legislation and makes crimes out of things that are not crimes. A prohibition law strikes a blow at the very principles upon which our government was founded." -- Abraham Lincoln. --- You can't have a war on drugs; you can only have a war on people. --- PST (California Time) --- "It is a well-known fact that... for all practical purposes, man is incapable of learning anything new after the age of 25. Today's university students might be rather more studious if aware that what they were learning was, for better or worse, that which will serve them the rest of their lives." -- William James, 1896 (abridged) --- "I may detest what you say, but I will defend to my death your right to say it." -- Voltaire --- "No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent." -- Abraham Lincoln --- Politics: Poly - many tics - little mindless, bloodsucking parasites --- Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors and miss -- Lazarus Long --- Good day to avoid cops. Crawl to school. --- Error: (n) 1. The act of buying a computer. 2. The normal result of running a computer system. Hardware: (n) 1. Boots, leather, studs, spikes, etc. 2. The parts of a computer which can be kicked. Software: (n) 1. Silk nighties, nylons, teddies, etc. 2. Parts of computer that cannot be kicked. --- Real Time: Whenever the computer isn't hallucinating. --- I am He that brought you out of Egypt (like in the movie), You shall not returneth to Egypt, nor shall you think that the Pyramids are "cool," "nifty," or "symbolic." That would be putting other gods before Me, and claiming that they are better architects, which is a sore spot and, hence, right out. --- "I am the eggplant. I am the Wal-Mart." --- "With Donald Fagen... after having so heavily larded my first novel with Steely Dan references, I was really delighted to find that he actually read them, and thought it was cool! Early Steely Dan tunes have always been huge favorites of mine." -- William Gibson --- Currently, the little voice that comes from my left shoe is telling me to kill, kill, kill. I will try to ignore it as long as I can, but sometimes I am not as strong as I would like to be. --- "If you find that you're spending all your time on theory, start turning some attention to practical things; it will improve your theories. If you find that you're spending almost all your time on practice, start turning some attention to theoretical things; it will improve your practice." -- Knuth --- The best theory is inspired by practice and the best practice is inspired by theory. -- Donald Knuth --- A man chases a woman until she catches him. --- We will worship like the Druids, Dancing naked in the woods, Drinking strange fermented fluids, And it's good enough for me! In the church of Aphrodite, The priestess wears a see-thru nightie, She's a mighty righteous sightie, And she's good enough for me! --- Verbing weirds language --- What if God was omnipotent, but forgot that he was omnipotent? What if God was omnipotent, but really stupid? --- The computer is down. I hope it's something serious. --- Nationwide, 30 percent of college freshmen take at least one remedial reading, writing, or math course. (High School, Part II?) --- "Myst: Doom for pussies" -- Randy "Gawain" Keller --- The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues. --- These days the necessities of life cost you about three times what they used to, and half the time they aren't even fit to drink. --- Anyone knows how to convert a hippie into a yuppie: just add cocaine. --- "A drug is neither moral nor immoral -- it's a chemical compound. The compound itself is not a menace to society until a human being treats it as if consumption bestowed a temporary license to act like an asshole." -- Frank Zappa --- Never drink coke in a moving elevator. The elevator's motion coupled with the chemicals in coke produce hallucinations. People tend to change into lizards and attack without warning, and large bats usually fly in the window. Additionally, you begin to believe that elevators have windows. --- Why bother building any more nuclear warheads until we use the ones we have? --- Cop: "How many beers have you had tonight, bro?" Suspect: "Seventy." -- from the fascist TV show "COPS" --- Life is a metaphor, much like a simile. --- This sentence contradicts itself -- no actually it doesn't. -- Hofstadter --- Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them. --- OK, so you're a Ph.D. Just don't touch anything. --- The C Programming Language -- A language which combines the flexibility of assembly language with the power of assembly language. --- All extremists should be taken out and shot. --- Applicants must also have extensive knowledge of UNIX, although they should have sufficiently good programming taste to not consider this an achievement. -- from MIT AI lab help-wanted ad --- "Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra. Suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." -- Nietzsche --- Frisbeetarianism, n.: The belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. --- "Everybody is unique." . . . "I'm not!" --- You're unique... just like everyone else. --- "Squeak. Squeak, I tell you, SQUEAK!" -- Ren --- DON'T DRINK SOAP! DILUTE DILUTE! OK! --- If you find yourself really badly stuck, it can be helpful to see a psychotherapist. An informal survey suggests that roughly half of the students in our lab see one at some point during their graduate careers. -- scary thought from MIT AI lab's "How To Do Research" --- Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. -- Mark Twain --- Humanity has a long way to go before it is civilized. --- How much does it cost to entice a dope-smoking UNIX system guru to Dayton? -- Brian Boyle, UNIX/WORLD's First Annual Salary Survey --- Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. --Ambrose Bierce --- It struck most of us that the biggest harm reduction we could see would be to stop putting people in jail for drug use. -- Dr. John Morgan, who was commissioned by the American Medical Association (AMA) to draft a report on harm reduction, commonly defined as helping drug users minimize the consequences of their behavior. The conclusion rattled the AMA, which subsequently shelved the report. --- A man's dreams are an index to his greatness. --- We're in such a hurry most of the time we never get much chance to talk. The result is a kind of endless day-to-day shallowness, a monotony that leaves a person wondering years later where all the time went and sorry that it's all gone. -- Robert M. Pirsig --- "in a bladerunnerish world, UW [the band Underworld] would be the beatles" -- some freak on DirtyList --- "All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident." -- Arthur Schopenhauer --- Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street. -- Elbert Hubbard --- If you can spend a perfectly useless afternoon in a perfectly useless manner, you have learned how to live. -- Lin Yutang --- Guns don't kill people. Radical pro-lifers kill people. --- Every man has his secret sorrows, which the world knows not; and oftentimes we call a man cold when he is only sad. -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882) --- "penetralia : The most private or secret parts; recesses." love to see the OED entry on this one.... --- There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it. -- Mary Little --- If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things. -- Rene Descartes --- By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third, by experience, which is the bitterest. -- Confucius --- "Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone." -- Pablo Picasso --- You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you. -- Eric Hoffer (1902-1983) --- Many wealthy people are little more than janitors of their possessions. - Frank Lloyd Wright (1867-1959) --- If you don't execute your ideas, they die. -- Roger von Oech --- We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them. -- Kahlil Gibran --- "No, YOU suck" - the mean people. --- The fetters imposed on liberty at home have ever been forged out of the weapons provided for defence against real, pretended, or imaginary dangers from abroad. -James Madison, 4th US president (1751-1836) --- slashdotter1> They're reinvented Alohanet, circa 1970 slashdotter2> They should have no problem getting a patent on it then. --- "It's never too early to start drilling holes in your car." --Tom Magliozzi --- The tribes building the new Net at the Emerging Technology Conference: the wiring techmonkeys of WiFi (motto: "criminal. anarchist. parasites."), the keyboard rattling hoardes of Blogistan, the Men-In-Suits-With-Earrings of the Web Services crowd, and the grubby-but-unbowed street P2Punks. -- NTKNow, UK --- If we were ants living on a Rubik's cube, differential geometry would be a little more confusing. -- slashdotter --- I used to live in the United States of America. Now I live in a homeland. --- Our story noted, "But there is one flaw with the service: The kid could turn off his phone," to which my response is "Yeah, right. As if." --- "Having poetry books around is actively harmful by about the same amount," perhaps because it signals a "Bohemian" lifestyle that may encourage kids to become guitar-strumming, poetry-reading dreamers. --- Using a key to gouge expletives on another's vehicle is a sign of trust, and friendship --- We are the Mooninites and our culture has advanced beyond all that you can possibly comprehend with 100% of your brain. --- I hope you can see this because I'm doing it as hard as I can --- Such behavior has led experts to conclude that the compulsive use of digital devices triggers a pleasurable and addictive neurochemical sensation. --- Basically, what "Ajax" means is "Javascript now works." --- If all you have is an airlock, every problem looks like a Cylon. --- We're beyond Orwellian - it's all Rovian now. And that dear friend, is much worse. --- This nation has come a long way from its origins, 226 years ago today, when our rights were being violated by an unelected, mentally deficient, hereditary dictator named George. --- I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something. --- "If you do not depend on awards, money, or other validations to dictate your well-being ... you will own your own happiness" -- Jonny Moseley, Berkeley commencement 2002 --- There was never a genius without a tincture of madness. -- Aristotle --- If the person in the next lane at the stoplight rolls up the window and locks the door, support their view of life by snarling at them. -- the_philosophical_biker --- "I declare justice is nothing but the advantage of the stronger" - Thrasymachus Republic 338c --- "If you can't speak softly, just use the stick." -- Teddy Roosevelt --- Reality is what doesn't go away when you stop believing in it. -- Philip K. Dick --- Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself. Being true to anyone else or anything else is ... impossible. -Richard Bach --- There are a thousand thoughts lying within a man that he does not know till he takes up a pen to write. -- William Makepeace Thackeray --- Propaganda is to democracy what violence is to totalitarianism -- Noam Chomsky, '86 --- All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher. - Ambrose Bierce --- "Reality as comprehended by finite beings is partial, relative, and shadowy. ... Therefore must many of the simultaneous events of eternity be presented as sequential transactions." -- The Urantia Book - Foreword --- Someone once said of crushing helplessness: it is a good idea to avoid that. ... It is our hope that this guide will be a valuable resource during this long stretch of boredom and dread and that it may be of some help, however small, to cope with your new life and the gradual, bittersweet loss of every God damned thing you ever loved. -- From My Index of Slightly Horrifying Knowledge, by Paul Guest. --- And remember that time when the US government wanted to put a wiretapping backdoor into every digital phone, and it was called THE CLIPPER CHIP, and everyone was like "Woah!", and it got thrown out and the cypherpunks and EFF won and it was the beginning of cyberrights? No, us neither. Our dads do, we think. -- NTKNow --- Slashdot Matrix comments of (Score:5, Funny): - we've slashdotted the matrix. I wanted to go get a beer but it's harder now that everything runs at 3 fps. - 4th movie title: 'Eigen Matrix - the Final Inversion' - Neo's abilities are only possible due to bad software engineering! For instance, we see a boy bending a spoon. This sould not be possible. Perhaps, since it is only one's perception, a person can do anything they want (simply by controlling their own perception). But, the fact that another person can see the spoon bend shows that the "bender" has access to parts of the Matrix system that they should not. Neo must have somehow gained root privelages, or found out about a buffer over-run. Why bother sending in tons of agents to hunt down and stop Neo? You don't send viruses out to stop hackers. You write a friggin' patch and call it Matrix v1.2. --- You know, when you have a program that does something really cool, and you wrote it from scratch, and it took a significant part of your life, you grow fond of it. When it's finished, it feels like some kind of amorphous sculpture that you've created. It has an abstract shape in your head that's completely independent of its actual purpose. Elegant, simple, beautiful. Then, only a year later, after making dozens of pragmatic alterations to suit the people who use it, not only has your Venus-de-Milo lost both arms, she also has a giraffe's head sticking out of her chest and a cherubic penis that squirts colored water into a plastic bucket. The romance has become so painful that each day you struggle with an overwhelming urge to smash the fucking thing to pieces with a hammer. Nick Foster --- Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. -Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910) --- Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears. -Marcus Aurelius, philosopher and writer (121-180) --- Few things can help an individual more than to place responsibility on him, and to let him know that you trust him. -Booker T. Washington, reformer, educator, and author (1856-1915) --- "... simply moderate giftedness has been made worthless by the printing press and radio and television and satellites and all that. A moderately gifted person who would have been a community treasure a thousand years ago has to give up, has to go into some other line of work, since modern communications put him or her into daily competition with nothing but world's champions. The entire planet can get along nicely now with maybe a dozen champion performers in each area of human giftedness. A moderately gifted person has to keep his or her gifts all bottled up until, in a manner of speaking, he or she gets drunk at a wedding and tapdances on the coffee table like Fred Astaire or Ginger Robers. We have a name for him or her. We call him or her an 'exhibitionist.' How do we reward such an exhibitionist? We say to him or her the next morning, 'Wow! were you ever drunk last night!'" -- Kurt Vonnegut, "Bluebeard" --- The great rulers - the people do not notice their existence. The lesser ones they attach to and praise them. The still lesser ones - they fear them. The still lesser ones - they despise them. For where faith is lacking it cannot be met by faith. -Tao Te Ching --- For those who stubbornly seek freedom around the world, there can be no more urgent task than to come to understand the mechanisms and practices of indoctrination. These are easy to perceive in the totalitarian societies, much less so in the propaganda system to which we are subjected and in which all too often we serve as unwilling or unwitting instruments. -- Noam Chomsky --- I tell the landlady I got a job, I'm gonna pay the rent, She said "Yeah?", I said "Ohhhh yeah", and then she was soooooooooo nice. -- One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer by John Lee Hooker recorded 1977 by George Thorogood & The Destroyers --- "I cannot overemphasize the importance of good grammar." What a crock. I could easily overemphasize the importance of good grammar. For example, I could say: "Bad grammar is the leading cause of slow, painful death in North America," or "Without good grammar, the United States would have lost World War II." -- Dave Barry --- "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who at the worst, if he fails at least fails while Daring Greatly; so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat." -- Theodore Roosevelt --- In a weird way, the everyday lives of young digital workers undermine the values under which they supposedly toil. Touted as the most renegade -- and entrepreneurial -- generation in years, they are, in traditional labor terms, amazingly subservient: the ideal postindustrial employees. Chained to their keyboards, digital employees paradoxically are the kind of compliant workforce that would have pleased Henry Ford -- or even Chairman Mao. --- In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. - Albert Schweitzer (1875-1965) --- "The men of Generation X -- the aging slackers in Sam Lipsyte's recent novel, 'The Ask,' and in the film 'Greenberg' -- have little wish to grow up at all, and should they have to, they'll do it near gastropubs, art houses and public transportation." -- Dwight Garner, in a 40th anniv review of 'Deliverance' http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/25/books/25dickey.html --- unzip ; touch ; finger ; mount ; gasp ; yes ; umount ; sleep